why arranged marriages are turning out to be a financial settlement

The day started with a feeling of hatred in my heart a hatred towards people that demand for dowry. Why this dowry is becoming the most common and the most important topic in a marriage. When you say that your son is getting married very few people ask you how is the girl and family.many ask you how much dowry you are getting .Whats wrong with these people?When a girl is well educated and earning a good salary what is it that makes them demand for dowry.Oh God I am losing my temper writing this.

Now what I say is that the guy X is being rated for his education,height,complexion ,salary and so and is being decided with a price tag and how come he doesnt feel a sting.Is he not ashamed to be evaluated and ask dowry .Does it occur to him that how low he will be in the view of the girl who if the price quote is matched will become his wife.Where are his morals? where is his common sense? what did he learn with his so called high education?

Ok now comes the grooms parents quality assurance.We love our sons.We will give whatever we have equally to our sons.so each of this brothers will get this much share and blah blah and finally the reasoning for demanding dowry

1. This dowry part is just for spectators or relatives because if the grroms parents say no the bride's parents didnot give any dowry they think the bride is from a lower income level which doesnt look good.
2. This dowry will be like a security deposit for the couple who will only eventually get to enjoy the money or whatever.
3. Just because the elder daughter in law brought some and if the younger daughter in law doesnt bring that much there will be a superiority complex for the Elder and Inferiorty complex for the younger.

I really admire these people for justifying thier unethical behaviour in such a polished way.What's wrong with the society.It all comes down to this.There is great pleasure in getting something for free that is why even the super markets offer buy 2 get 1 free stuff.It is pretty simple human psychology .And even the parents of the bride ,first they should think that the groom is really a perfect match for the bride and if they want they can give any thing happily to thier child, not forcibly give it her on demand by the grooms just for some family status or social status or whatever crap people think around.
As long as girl's father thinks that his child will be happy in the grooms place if he gives dowry there will be no end to this demands and there will be more and more dowry harrassment cases and there will many more cases registered and there will be more divorces because the father who till then thinks that dowry would save his childs marriage from any problems will realize that dowry itself is foundation for all this happenings and eventually he thinks his child is better safe with them than with the greedy people.
As long as a person gives a chance for others to decide what he is and what he wants and what he has to be he will never be happy.And unhappy people doesnt maketh a happy society.
To all the fathers out there please dont make a marriage sound like a financial settlement either by taking dowry or giving dowry
To all the girls out there please dont think if you give dowry you will be treated well .That aint gonna happen.Try to find a man who is beautiful at heart than at his appearance.Dont give a chance for others to decide what is your worth.If you are confident on the inside your parents will be confident looking at you and that makes a huge difference to the people who look at you and they dont dare to speak whatever comes to their mind.
To all the bachelors out ther please dont degrade yourself and get a price tag on you with a MRP (maximum retail price) .Please respect women and try to appreciate them.

Take it easy :)

chill out
sit back and relax
have fun
Enjoy life
Dont let anything get to you
nothing is so important than your happiness
Take pride in all the things you do
Guilt kills all the fun.Do not let it.
Life is short and each and every moment is precious
live in the present.Dont let the past spoil your present.
stay fit stay healthy and freak out!

My Princess

She is turning into a bit of Drama Queen now.she knows very well what ticks her mommy off and what excites her.

Watching her mom talk to her grandmother frequently she understood mommy cant live without calling grandma so she asked her mom "Hi Mama ,give me your phone".when her mom says "No,this is mama's phone and you cannot use it".or this she immidiately reacts saying "Mama give me phone,want to call ammamma and say hi?".I her sense it is dont you want to call grandma.At times she becomes so manipulative that people around her just get startled. she is 29months old now.

Can't ask for more!

Sravya made me a better person from the day she entered my life. She made me more tolerant, submissive, agile, easy going and above all happier. Looking at her I feel this much is enough for this life.My needs,wants and everything became so minimal. The way she talks ,she runs around and hugs me tell me that I am doing my job right! When she cries and becomes cranky she tells me you can do better.My little wonder takes care of a baby, feeds her cuddles her . Not only that she dances to her favourite tunes, sings Baa Baa rhymes, enjoys watching her favourite sheep shaun doing all the tricks. Builds towers, scribbles on her doodle, casts a magic spell on her Dada and grounds him . I just love the two little magicians perform their tricks. She wakes him up first thing in the morning tickles his nose and puts a smile on his face.She very well understands that her dad goes for work an d when you ask her she confidently says "uffis" . She knows all the animals, makes all the barnyard sounds, loves books and above all loves to cook and feed people.Loves water and kids.

She talks a lot. She repeats whatever we say.Most common words are uh-oh and wow . She doesn't go to sleep when she has friends around even if it is her naptime .she makes sure she entertains them before she falls asleep. Cleans up the mess she does, pickes her dress ,loves to be all dressed up . She is sweet and overall she is our beautiful child ,a precious gift of God and we are ever grateful to the almighty for everything He gave us in this life.

Educated Girl!

Its a very common behavior among many of us and I really wonder why it is that way? You can only enjoy what is yours and nothing comes without effort. It may be wealth,credibility or prestige, all the development in life only comes with effort, except the interest that you pay on your loan or sins that you do which do not need any effort to grow.

Today I heard something that is so disturbing. Parents take enormous joy in rising their kids and look upto them when they grow up. They feel proud of their success.When it comes to a girl child there is a little bit of wavery attitude towards this. Can you believe it, there are still people supposedly educated people who think a girl gets married easily if she doesn't earn much or is less educated? Education gives consciousness about environment and work provides the skills to survive in any kind of environment.Work can be any kind of work whether you are paid or not paid . But to get paid for doing the work is always awesome.

And wedding should not be considered something that hinders this process. Its a major thing that you get a good partner to lead the rest of your life but it is equally important to have a person who admires what you are and respects your place of interest. A girl should be proud to have a degree besides her name and happy to enjoy her financial freedom. No one including her parents can take this away from her. I really hope for a better world where she will be treated as an achiever but not a loser. When a kid is brought up with appreciation she will be confident and reach greater heights. I admire my father who says that girls should be independent. kudos Nannagaru.

Random thoughts!!

One thing that I absolutely hate in my life is postponement.I cant just sit back and say we will do it later because there is no point in thinking so.Its my job and i f I dont do it now I have to do it sometime and who knows I might be at a loss if I dont do things in the right time. The only motivation I get in doing things by myself is my ability to keep things right.I put my 100% effort,strength and what not for my family.I wish to be such a person and I learnt it from my parents.And when I do so much I expect people around me to acknowledge my effort.

As a child I used to think why my Dad does so much of work.Even on his one day holiday he used to polish our shoes, iron uniforms and he just want to make things better around the house when he is at home. I havent seen him spare an iron frame to rust or a book to teari.Never allowed to waste water,paper or electricity .He used to oil my bicycle, try to make use of the tiny tiny things lying around the house .There were times when i thought why he is so concerned about all these.Now I undersatnd he wanted to us to learn the ways of making things work.To teach us value of money and goods.To teach us about the environment and save mother earth.We dont use plastic bags to shop.We have colorful bags made from jute and cloth .Definitely he is a man with vision.A vision to grow his children with common sense.Basic essentials of life.He never ever told us that he would pay for iur tuitions if we fail to get a free admission in colleges.He just let us learn the things in the hard way and prepared us for the war of life.I wish to be such a wonderful parent .

I expect people to use their body also at times along with their brains. Physical activity is important and most of all skipping on things doesnt help.Every one is not perfect but there is no wrong in trying to be one.At least try not to mess things up.

Life ain't bed of roses for anyone.

I hope there is better title than housewife to me because I do many things at home.I assemble sravya's toys, do some hardware work around the house, organize things, plan things,teach my kid, entertain her ,clean my house and what not ..almost everything because I can't just stop and sit back..If I get time all that I get into my mind is some unfinished job lying around the house.I am the workaholic :D

I feel much happy after writing in my blog after a really long time..I should write often.

Down the Memory Lane

2009 is one year to remember..It gave me a beautiful adorable baby.I am a Mom now :) .
She is more than just a baby,she is my Dad
My father passed away..It made me a fatherless child.
So how does that make me feel exactly?

When I look back in my life the things my father taught me are countless.He gave us a good life,taught us good morale,shaped us as good humanbeings.All his life he just strived to acquire things for his family..A selfless human.I wish he was alive now.He just knew that i would be having a baby girl.He smiled when I gave him the news and told me to be brave and take care of myself.The last words I talked to him are "Nanna ela unnaru..repu intiki vachestaruga..online randi.. nenu chudaledu mimmalni chala rojulanundi..meeru intiki ragane naku call cheyandi".But I dont know that these would be my last words with him.

I am so unfortunate to lose such a Dad.He would have given me good moral support.I am just 27.I have an entire life ahead.Who will guide me.How will I share my joy or sorrow with him.He just me left me right here asking me to face the challenges life brings to me.I wish he saw sravya,carried her around .I dreamed about all these but God took him far far away from us.
Now as a parent I know how much he must have done to bring us all to this stage.When Sravya was born the thoughts I got into my mind were exactly these."I should pass on all good values to my little one.I should teach her all that you taught us".I will tell her a lot about him.I am proud of my Dad.God tested me in avery harsh way by taking him away when I was 6 months pregnant with my first child.I cudn't go to India.I didnot see him finally.So it just doesnot sink in to me that my dad is no more.I just feel that he went somewhere and he will return soon.Wish it is so.

I now understand what it means saying God gives with one hand and takes away with the other".I want to write a lot but i dont know what to write."I will keep you in my thoughts and I will treasure your memories and I cherish the moments I spent with you.
I love you Nanna and I know you are looking upon me.Give me strength and be with me.I will take care of Amma .You take rest now.You must be tired all these years working working for the betterment of the family.May your soul rest in peace.You are a wonderful person.I see a lot of you in Sravya.I will take care of her very well ."

Sravya is tall ,energetic,adventurous,adorable like you.She looks like you. so I call her Subha at times :).I miss you Nanna.